Hope Is A Waking Dream

Yesterday evening I had one of those awful moments where something happy led to a wave of sorrow. We'd had a great day - fab news from Bean's observations from her keyworker at preschool; things like that always lift my spirits and make me feel confident in the approach we're taking. We'd come home, played some games, sang a few songs and laughed a lot. As I held her in my arms and looked into her smiling eyes, I felt a tsunami of emotions hit me. 

In an instant I'd leapt forward 10 years imagining having to discuss the difficulties she might face...the major one being sustaining relationships or having a family. I pictured this beautiful person suddenly having a whole wealth of problems and anxieties firmly being sewn to her shoulders...and my heart broke. Knowing that it would be me, my voice, sharing that news with her and being aware that I'd be watching her innocence evaporate as each word would be uttered.

You see, the every day doesn't frighten me. We live and breathe genetics and the impact it has on our lives - for the most part we've been incredibly lucky and she has been quite the enigma, rarely possessing the vast traits of WS. But the future? That has the power to send me into a quivering wreck. I get moments where I wish I could place her in a little bubble and prevent her from facing any of the potential hurt and sadness that's round the corner. I would happily share my home with her for the rest of our lives but I know that wouldn't be enough for her. She has a zest and power for life, for new experiences. It's those awful glimpses into the future when I abandon my normal positivity and begin only seeing negatives. 

It's in moments like this that you have to take a breath...catch yourself and say that the only thing that counts is right now, this minute, this second. Guarantees and certainties simply don't exist for any family but perhaps those of us with children with SEND know this or feel this more than most. Today is the focus and tomorrow should be viewed with hope. As Aristotle said 'Hope is a waking dream'. Hope is the vessel that will guide us to tomorrow and great things can & will be achieved. As long as hope fires our core, the conversations of the future, the moments of sadness can be vanquished by the joy, love and dream of all that she is and will be capable of. 

Bibi xx

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I am Somebody...

Last year I watched a Ted Talk by Ruth Pierson. called 'Every Child Needs a Champion'...I found it so inspiring and uplifting that I wanted to write about it. For my entire twenties & my early thirties I was a teacher, who also worked within the Inclusion team. I adored teaching, I was enthusiastic to get out of bed every morning - eager to get to school to make an impact on the children's lives. Now, I'm not for one second suggesting that every single lesson I wrote or delivered was outstanding, of course not, but I did truly believe in my profession and the children in my class. 

Being a teacher is a privilege - you can enable children to excel and achieve, you witness lightbulb moments when something just clicks & you share in their discovery/enlightenment. But not every child gets to make these leaps as instantaneously as others. You can see the prospect of learning is exhausting - mentally, physically & emotionally. Imagine how that must feel? That every day is a chore, a battlefield even. You have to fight to stop yourself drowning & yet you are still expected to fit into a rigid school environment that only bends & flexes if you are fortunate enough to have a passionate teacher, Head, Inclusion team & LSA. All of those individuals play an integral part in keeping a child with additional needs buoyant & successful...they are the child's champion.

Having been at the coal face of education, it is logical then that I face the prospect of my youngest's steps towards school with rather a high dose of anxiety. I feel frustrated that so many factors need to align in order for her experience to be fruitful. For the last 2.5 years I have been her champion: I have fought for her, I have knocked down Drs offices, pestered Consultant's secretaries, I've worked on every target set, attended endless appointments on her behalf, brought myself to my knees at times because I am determined to see her succeed. Relinquishing the reins is a challenge, but I hope that the school of our choice will echo my feelings and champion my daughter - in her strengths and her weaknesses. 

Rita Pierson said: "I am somebody. I was somebody before I came and I'll be a better somebody when I leave. I am powerful and I am strong. I deserve the education that I get here. I have things to do, people to impress and places to go. If you say it long enough, it starts to be part of you." These words are true - every child is a somebody. Every child deserves their education. I hope that all teachers watch this video & take note. To hold a child's education in your hands is a precious gift. You get one chance to make a difference, one opportunity to make an impact and one year to show a child that they are important, worthy & valued. It is irrelevant if the child before you is surpassing all expectations or not...the responsibility is yours & you must respect it. Thank goodness for teachers like Rita Pierson...may other educators take her lead. After all, as it has been said many times before "To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world." Every child needs to be treated as an individual & every teacher has the power, in fact the duty, to empower them to reach their goals. We are all Somebody. 

Bibi xx

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